Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Dem Blues of Disloyalty

The Democrats must be feeling a little uneasy about their future these days...

Okay, maybe that's a stretch seeing as how Stuart Smalley's recount win in Minnesota busted any hopes of a Republican fillibuster("Doggone it, people like him!"), MC Sanford disappeared to pay an international tribute to John Edwards (Chapurowned!), not to mention the simple truth that there is no current "head of the Republican Party" since that fat fuck resigned to pursue a blossoming music career.

But even though the Democrats are sitting pretty for now and can basically pass whatever legislation President Obama wants, the future looks a bit more challenging for the blues due to two major resignations that have been announced over the past couple weeks.

Firstly, Los Angeles Mayor Antonio Villairagosa dropped out of the upcoming gubernatorial race, possibly due to his own adulterous past. Villairagosa would have certainly been the man to beat in the upcoming race as his popularity among minorities, especially the state's huge Hispanic voting body, is unprecedented in California history. His announcement, however, leaves the Democrats two remaining candidates: San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom and Attorney General Jerry Brown. Both of these choices may be too liberal for a California in the financial dumps. Neither of these candidates can really boast fiscal credibility or economic savvy. Though both men can show off various accomplishments in the trendy green sector, these blue bureaucrats might not be that attractive to the general public that has proven more conservative than most would have predicted. Given the economic times, the people just might put their faith in Her Bidness Meg Whitman. Her relatively centrist platform and business leadership, along with the clear opportunity for California to elect its first female governor ever could prove a feasible victory for the GOP.

Secondly, Sarah Palin quit as governor of Alaska, inspiring a national chorus of Gosh Darnits. The Republican Party had not been forewarned of her resignation, and when the announcement became public they responded with their own "Gee-Whiz!" Her resignation could mean that she's focusing all of her time on her potential 2012 candidacy, but it could also mean that she might not run for president. Either way, the Democrats lose their easiest target to date, for now if not forever, and will have to locate some new red fodder to replace her.

One final note: in light of the recent tragic death of quarterback and all-around badass Steve McNair, Villairagosa and Sanford should count their blessings that their mistresses have never been armed and dangerous.

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